LAUNCH

DAY: 1 (Continued)
HALO PLAY TIME: 2 hours
MOVES LEARNED: Shooting, Running Scared

Got home and put the game in. Never played it. Never thought about playing it, but here I am.

After 20 minutes of trying to connect everything and watching the intro movies, I'm live. First things first: Squeeze all the triggers, push all the buttons. The guy at the store suggested I buy a strategy guide. Give me a break. Live and learn.

Through process of elimination, I figure out how to shoot a gun, throw a grenade with zero accuracy, and change weapons. I can jump, too. A lot. Some might even call it skipping, but hey, that's how I roll.

I'm apparently part of a team. What everyone does on this team, I don't know and I don't care. There's also a member of my team that apparently my guy has had a beef with in previous games. He speaks some crazy language and looks like the thing from Alien. I do know that he kicks a lot of ass. In my "lead from the rear" leadership style, that comes in handy as he and the other guys take people out while I pretend to contribute.

Eventually I get my first kill. Unfortunately, I can't figure out the controls that allow me to rip my victim's heart out and eat it savage-style. They should work that into the next game.

After this, I become a killing machine, owing to the fact that I can finally aim and shoot with better accuracy. My entourage appreciates it, since I don't shoot them as frequently. I do like to keep them on their toes, though.

I make it through some woods. I survive an assault near a lake, and make it to some kind of headquarters. From there, I'm ordered to save everyone. In an attempt at high drama and to raise the morale of the team, I try and kiss one of the hot women soldiers goodbye like soldiers do in the movies. Sadly, that too is not something built into the game. Unimpressed, they leave me behind and I'm on my own for the first time.

From there, I'm off to re-take a room to avoid the whole complex being over-run by bad guys. They kill me. Again and again. But I keep coming back for more. Until I decide to go to bed. As I fall to sleep, I notice my forearms tingling. I'm a soldier now. I've got to suck it up.